Some facts about Star Wars
We love “Star Wars.” Really, we do. We loved the toys as a child and – errr – as an adult too. But any honest fan has to admit all is not perfect in the galaxy far, far away. For every cool character or great plot twist, there is a line of dialogue that would make a Gundark want to pull its own ears off. So, we made a list. We can’t help it; we’re just geeks.
Our favorite things Han Solo’s successful navigation of an asteroid field despite odds of approximately 3,720 to 1.
Plot holes Princess Leia, with the Death Star plans, was sent to retrieve Obi-Wan Kenobi to bring him to Alderaan. What was he going to do once he got there?
Trivia A stormtrooper famously bumps his head on a door in “Episode IV – A New Hope.” Jango Fett does the same in “Episode II – Attack of the Clones.” Stormtroopers are clones of Fett, so clumsiness must be genetic.
What were you thinking, George? Princess Leia’s Cinnabon look in “Episode IV – A New Hope” was the worst hair day in galactic history.
What if … George Lucas made a game called “Star Wars: Ewok Hunter.” You could step on them with a walker.
Trivia The band Nerf Herder takes its name from a line in “Empire.” They wrote the theme to “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” which featured “Star Wars”-loving supervillians.
Awful dialogue “Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.” “Episode IV – A New Hope”
Great lines “No, I am your father.”
“Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back”
Trivia “The Phantom Edit,” a re-edited version of “Episode I – The Phantom Menace” began making the rounds. About 20 minutes shorter, it is edited, as the film explains, to cut out “as much story redundancy, pointless Anakin actions … and Jar Jar Binks, as possible.”
Great lines “This is our most desperate hour. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.” “Episode IV – A New Hope.”
What if …Jake Lloyd and Jar Jar fought to the death.
Plot holes How well-hidden was Luke Skywalker really? He was at Darth Vader’s half brothers’ house on Darth’s home planet. Nobody bothered to change Luke’s last name. Neither did Obi-Wan.
What were you thinking, George? What is the deal with those rickety, Dustbuster-headed battle droids? They lose every war they fight, including a battle with an army led by that dolt Jar Jar. (What were you thinking, George!!!) Were they under warranty?
Our favorite things Frank Oz’s performance as Yoda in “Empire.” Forget the digital Yoda in “Clones.” He’s just a grumpy bureaucrat.
Awful dialogue The worst line in all of “Star Wars”: “Master, if we keep this chase going any longer , that creep’s gonna end up deep-fried.”“Episode II – Attack of the Clones”
Our favorite things Princess Leia in her Jabba the Hutt-provided palace work uniform.
What if… there was a cut of “Episode I – The Phantom Menace” in which Qui-Gon Jinn cuts Jar Jar’s head off in the first five minutes.
Trivia “No, there is another.” Three more movies actually: “The Star Wars Holiday Special” (1978), “The Ewok Adventure” (1984) and “Ewoks: The Battle for Endor” (1985). Fans don’t consider these part of the canon.
Awful dialogue “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.” “Episode II – Attack of the Clones”
Great lines “Together again, huh?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
“How’re we doing?”
“Same as always.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Episode VI – Return of the Jedi”
Plot holes Wouldn’t a massive reactor explosion and falling debris devastate Endor?
